President Bush announces he's hiring Malakar as press secretary

In a move some assert was a desperate attempt to garner the support of the Nation's youth, President Bush announced yesterday his intention to hire ousted American Idol Sanjaya Malakar as new Press Secretary, replacing Tony Snow.

"Think about it logicallably," he was quoted as saying, "This office needs new blood, and a way to fire up the constituents, and Sanjaya is the one to bring this about. Since most Americans seem to care so much about him, his presence will be a welcome change from dull news about the war on terror, Darfur, Poverty, and Crime."

Although White House press corps initially expressed dismay, sources say Helen Thomas was an ardent Fanjaya.